happy expletive
scizzore.
i found my beck cd.
i've been lookin for this bugger for half a year.
ok. g'nite.
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snakebite.
(in reverse chronological order)
.:story 1:.
last week
in new york, i went to a bar
called 1897, or 1876
some year-like number.
i asked the bartender to get me two snakebites.
she looked like a bar keep in a bar where guys with harleys go.
long scraggly dark hair
a bit overweight
and mannish.
she brings me 2 very pale, bud-looking beers.
JEN: what are these?
BAR WENCH: snakebites
JEN: snakebites are guinness on top and pear cider on bottom
BAR WENCH: snakebites are cider on bottom and beer on top
JEN (thinking): wench, guinness IS beer.
BAR WENCH: what you're asking for is a black velvet, honey.
JEN: can you take these back and bring a "black velvet" (making air quotes)?
JEN (after the bar wench leaves): you know what? i can GUARANTEE you she is going to spit in my beer, but i don't care. i'm going to enjoy those suckers down to the last drop.
this is a snakebite
.:story 2:.
a month ago or so, i was doing a gig for miller
i go to a bar in upland
i ask a guy what he's drinking.
GUY: (with a thick chicagoan accent) guiness and pear cider
JEN: a snakebite.
GUY: atta girl! there's a girl who knows her beers. they call them something different here.
JEN: then they be retarded
GUY: word
yard house calls it something different too
a few bars i used to frequent knew what was up and labelled them snakebites.
so the question for today is,
what do folks mean by "snakebite"?
and if you say anything other than guiinness on top and pear cider on bottom,
here's a follow up question.
why are you so retarded? -
cheese.
................listening to the radio this morning.
your decision making ability is severely impaired when you first wake up, especially in the first 10 minutes. in fact, your ability to make decisions during this time is worse than it is when you're awake for 24 hours. this period can last for up to 2 hours.
.................speaking of sleep.
study shows that 72% of subjects who ate cheese before bed
had better sleep and more pleasant dreams.
it has tryptophan.
tryptophan goodness.
oh, tryptophan, i think i love you.
.................speaking of cheese.
a couple nights ago, i was really hungry and i wanted some serious bachelorette food.
i brought out the mac n cheese,
boiled water...
couldn't wait for the mac to be done
so i took some rice
and put it in a frying pan with butter
and put the powder cheese in.
it was so good.
but not as good as
eating rice and that cheese cream from the jar,
what's the name of it?
i remember everytime i took a spoon of cheese/rice,
i could see the butter gather to one side of the bowl.
sick.
i make myself sick just thinking about it.
today's lunch includes the leftover cheese rice.
but this time, it's an accessory to my meal,
not the main course.
...........speaking of.....
...
whatever.
so ....i had caffeine.
i feel so fluid
so docile.
so gentle and nurturing.
odd.
and i'm frightened. -
sheos.
i ordered this in december.
they were supposed to arrive by the end of january.
i had been hoping to break em in in time for the 10k last sunday.
but i finally received them last night.
so late.
so late.
i had to buy insole cushioning to keep my old shoes at work.
those suckers have a couple hundred miles on them.
long overdue for retirement.
they are much louder than they look in the photo.
hopefully, they will dull down with some good ol dirt.
yeah, Dirt.
and if you don't know what "sheos" refers to,
you need to watch more married, with children.
heart attack.
(not referring to the old man who got "peppered" in the face by cheney)
so my friend posted this on my myspace comments
"my ass loves you..."
so i returned the v-day wishes...
"my ass loves you too..."
happy v-day everyone.
let's make out.
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