March 30, 2006

  • snakebite.
    (in reverse chronological order)


    .:story 1:.
    last week
    in new york, i went to a bar
    called 1897, or 1876
    some year-like number.
    i asked the bartender to get me two snakebites.
    she looked like a bar keep in a bar where guys with harleys go.
    long scraggly dark hair
    a bit overweight
    and mannish.
    she brings me 2 very pale, bud-looking beers.
    JEN: what are these?
    BAR WENCH: snakebites
    JEN: snakebites are guinness on top and pear cider on bottom
    BAR WENCH: snakebites are cider on bottom and beer on top
    JEN (thinking): wench, guinness IS beer.
    BAR WENCH: what you're asking for is a black velvet, honey.
    JEN: can you take these back and bring a "black velvet" (making air quotes)?
    JEN (after the bar wench leaves): you know what?  i can GUARANTEE you she is going to spit in my beer, but i don't care.  i'm going to enjoy those suckers down to the last drop.



        this is a snakebite

    .:story 2:.
    a month ago or so, i was doing a gig for miller
    i go to a bar in upland
    i ask a guy what he's drinking.
    GUY: (with a thick chicagoan accent) guiness and pear cider
    JEN: a snakebite.
    GUY: atta girl!  there's a girl who knows her beers.  they call them something different here. 
    JEN: then they be retarded
    GUY: word

    yard house calls it something different too
    a few bars i used to frequent knew what was up and labelled them snakebites.

    so the question for today is,
    what do folks mean by "snakebite"?
    and if you say anything other than guiinness on top and pear cider on bottom,
    here's a follow up question. 
    why are you so retarded?

Comments (7)

  • you're so funny.. i enjoy your stories ^^..

  • bar wench:  ur asking for a black velvet, honey.

    carolonymous: no, i'm asking for a nice, warm glass of "Shut the Hell Up," honey.

    :) demure smile 

  • I wonder what kind of reaction i would get if the next time i went to a bar and said, "Wench, Bring me a snakebite!"

    that does sound quite refreshing though.

    im home sick. you?

  • Man I'm learning so many neat things now-a-days.
    Most edumacational story.
    I told my coworker to get a snake bite now.
    He looked at my funny.
    I think I'll try one later tonight.
    Hope my bar wench is nicer than yours.

  • There's a world outsite of xanga!
    Find it and be free!
    So i ordered a snake bite but the bar called it a black velvet.
    I thought, "hm... must be retards" but I kept quiet.
    It came with guinness/champagne.
    Much goodness.

  • ordering drinks at bars always makes me nervous (though not quite as nervous as ordering gourmet coffee)...

    found this on the realbeer.com community:

    There seems to be a lot of confusion over terminology, esp. with Guinness/Cider and Guinness/Champagne. I've heard them both described as Black Velvets and Snakebites, but regardless I like to have one or two of them if I've had a lot of pop or something else sweet that day.

    i wish i had known you were in ny.

  • wow you know so much about beer!

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